Here are a couple of funny excerpts from holiday cards we received this year.

The first is from a friend of Elaine's who works for Delta.

• "Another major decision that was reached, effective April 1^st, is that I will be leaving Delta and joining the masses at the unemployment office.  With the airline industry still floundering and Delta downsizing once again, I chose to hang up my wings and take a severance package with 13 years of discounted airfare.  No, it's not a great package to receive after spending 13 years with a company, but commuting to Cincinnati these past 2 years has taken it's toll and it seems better than nothing.  This was definitely a bittersweet decision as I will miss flying very much.  So now I'm just trying to update my resume so that Flight Attendant, Swimsuit Model, Aerobics Instructor, and College Cheerleader doesn't come across as too much of a bimbo!  I can only hope the person reading my resume is a 50+ year old man!!"

The next excerpt is more of an overview of how to get through the holidays.

• "Well again the holiday season is upon us, and with the joy of the
  christmas sprit, chocolate confections and the selfless thought of
  giving come the drudgery of in-laws and relatives. Stacie and I are
  determined this year not to endure this sober. We have a bottle of
  grey goose, jack daniels and spiced rum.
  It's going to be a merry christmas."